Enough is Enough

One quote has been racketing through my brain for the past few days, and that is: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do" by Eleanor Roosevelt.  Today I found out why when my daughter came out of school and told me that she'd been intentionally slammed against the wall by another girl in her class.  The force that she was smashed into the wall with caused her to crumple to the floor in pain.  The lunch aid on duty saw what happened, recognized the pain my daughter was in and said she would report the assault...but then proceeded to walk away and do no such thing.  If you follow me on twitter then you might recall the extremely difficult time we've been having with her school and the relentless bullying that she's been enduring.  Reporting the offenders has gone nowhere and the bullying has only gained momentum.  The last time I spoke with the school about the threats and harassment I was told by the school's guidance counsellor that this is "normal every day behavior and that my daughter should get used to it because 6th grade would be worse."  This was said in response to my concerns over daily threats from a girl who said she was planning to beat my daughter up on the last day of school.  Other kids were in on the plan and found great enjoyment in reminding my daughter every day how fun it was going to be to see her get beat up...and that they were planning to bring their video cameras to record it.  And yes, her school claims to have "zero tolerance for bullying"...hosts anti-bullying rallies and conferences...and coats their hallways with anti-bullying posters.  Clearly talk and action are two entirely different things.

So I did what I never would have thought I could do...I pulled her out of school.  My daughter's physical and emotional health were hanging in the balance and I could not just sit around idly and wait to see what would happen next.  I need to be her advocate.  She needs to know that even if an entire school system thinks abuse is acceptable or is willing to look the other way...I will not.  How else can I teach her to stand up for and respect herself?  I know I've made the right decision, but it is a choice that is not taken lightly.  This change of course means that a lot will be in flux for us in the coming weeks.  Not only have I pulled her out of school, but we are packing up and relocate to Oklahoma (you can read more about our move over on Creature Comforts) next Monday (yes, only a week to pack).

I am trying to remain as positive as possible and feel hopeful that good things are in store for us in the near future.  I have tried to make the best out of our move to New Jersey and what has been an overwhelmingly negative past 8 months...but there comes a time when enough is enough.  I have come to realize that this place is just not for us, and we are moving on.

Thanks to all of you who have offered your kind words of support here and on Twitter!  Your encouragement and thoughtfulness has helped me more than I can say.  I will not be updating this blog for a while (until we have things set back up in in our new home).  See you then.  xox Ez

Getting Real: Past to Present

{image by me}

Since our move to the East Coast this past Summer life has felt like it's stuck on a roller coaster (with mostly downward dips).  I could go on and on about that...but it's probably better if I don't.  In any case, I've often found myself wistfully longing to be back in our home in California.  I miss our small old town and the familiar life we built there...our neighborhood walks with berry picking, feather collecting and trips to the tiny one-room library two blocks away from our house.  This sort of ache probably doesn't go away...at least not for a long while.

As much as I miss what we left behind I know that I'm not doing myself or my daughter any good by fixating on the way things were.  Because of this I have been trying to remember that I can be thankful for what we had, but I need to live in this moment.  This is the one I have.  I am reminded of the Chinese proverb: “Do not anxiously hope for that which is not yet come; do not vainly regret what is already past.”  It sounds so good in writing...but harder in practice.  A lot of life is like that, right?!

So my question to you (if you'd like to answer it) is how do you personally deal with regret and longing for things of the past?  I know that most of us probably deal with these feelings at some time in life...whether it is missing the easy friendships made in college, the carefree life you lead sans kids, etc.  I'm excited to hear what you have to share.  xo Ez

Just Made My Day

Last week I discovered the site Just Made My Day, (similar in format to twitter) that asks the question "Who/What just just made your day?"  Fill in the blanks and let the world know how your day was brightened through the kindness of another.  Isn't it refreshing to find a site with the purpose of simply spreading kindness around the web/world?!  I love it!

Getting Real: Great Expectations

Expectations...  It seems that we must all feel the pressure of expectation to varying degrees and forms in our lives...from how we ought to behave as children, performance at work, relationships, how we should raise children, what we should believe in and more.  Much of the time these expectations can propel us forward and motivate us to become better people.  But they can just as easily stifle you, quiet your spirit or make you feel a sense of unease. 

So my confession is this: I often feel like a bit of a fraud.  It's weird to even write that because I generally keep these feelings to myself.  But the truth is that I am a very regular ordinary sort of person.  And sometimes I feel that I live in the shadow of expectations built by being a "design blogger."

Please don't get me wrong.  I really love blogging.  I am endlessly grateful for the incredible community of talented and kind individuals who make it what it is.  It's just that I am ridiculously and quite often awkwardly average.  (I hope that doesn't disappoint.)  I have insecurities, I get jealous, I have piles of laundry to sort and days when I skip out on housework out of pure laziness.  I don't own a house in some exotic location or jet off to Paris on holiday.  I like Haagen-dazs a little bit more than I should, am a total klutz and cut my own bangs to save money.  The majority of my wardrobe is black, grey or white and I don't own a single pair of "designer jeans."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's hard when I realize (or assume; because after all maybe nobody really cares) that some people might think of me as being an example of what it means to "have it all figured out." Living up to my perceived expectations of what being a "design blogger" means often overwhelms me.  Again, I so appreciate the admiration and lovely bits of it all, it is just that I never want to disappoint anyone and I would hate to think of anyone feeling different or worse off than me because of the label.

In the past I used to visit several popular blogs that were beautiful to the eye, but in the end only left me feeling that my life was lacking.  That unless I too owned this thing, decorated my house that way, or was in this and such circle of people that I couldn't match up.  I finally made the decision to stop reading those blogs and decided to just chart my own path.  It's my hope that you will never leave from visiting Carrying On or Creature Comforts feeling anything less than wonderful and hopefully inspired (at least in some small way).

The truth is that what you own, how many vacations you take, or what designer you are wearing doesn't determine how I feel about you.  If these things make you happy then I am happy for you.  The only thing that I truly care about is whether you are a genuine and good person, that you find joy in life to the best of your ability, and spread kindness wherever you can.  Because honestly that's is all that really matters.

So my question at the end of my rambling is this: How do you personally deal with expectations?  I would love any tips or advice that you might have on finding a balance and peace with it all.  At the moment I am rather stymied.

Thanks for listing...I really hope I didn't scare you all away.  xox Ez

One Good Thing: Gems T-shirt

When I came across this Gems T-Shirt by Print Liberation a few weeks ago, I was immediately reminded of road trips taken with my mom and sister when I was young.  Winding through the mountains of Montana we would always find a place to stop for a quick rest at one of the many tiny rock shops along the roadside.  If my sister and I had been behaving ourselves in the backseat we'd be treated to a shiny little stone of our choosing (which we would then lovingly added to our rock collection once we returned home again).  We so looked forward to those pretty little gems...anything turquoise or blue being my first choice (of course).

All of this is to say that I adore this shirt and the days long-past that it reminds me of.  Available on the Print Liberation official site and etsy store.