Weddings: To Save & To Splurge

I have this theory about weddings...
no. 1  They should be as much like your vision of your special day as possible.
no. 2  That doesn't mean that they should cost as much as a down payment on a new home!

...Which brings me to my third thought (and the inspiration for this post):
Save money on all the little details that make everything so special... do you really need silk ribbon when satin could look just as pretty and save you a bundle?  AND Splurge on the things that are going to remain with you long after the wedding day has passed.  I'm thinking your ring, shoes, and photographs!

{FIND IT}
-Lauren by Ralph Lauren Silk Organza Strapless Multilayered Dress, $280.00 at Macy's
-Dupioni Silk Ribbon from Midori Inc. (shown on white dress)
-Hanging Lantern idea from Martha Stewart
-Divination Cupcakes also from Martha Stewart
-Brian Danielle Pink Topaz Royalty Ring, $1,955 at Max & Chloe
-Chiffon Petal Dress, $19.80 at Forever 21
-Kate Spade Gali Heels (in Fuschia Satin), $352 at Zappos
-Emily Gallardo Calligraphy (contact for pricing)
-"Colorful Bouquet" from Martha Stewart Weddings

So lovelies, if you've already tied the knot... please consider sharing with us all, a special way that you cut back on cost while still making your big day amazing.  And would-be-brides... why not ask your most pressing wedding  questions in the comment section below and let's see if we can't get a fun and informational conversation going!  xox Ez

PS.  I just want to mention that I recognize that marriage and weddings are not for everyone.  If this applies to you, please don't take this post as a suggestion otherwise.  I've got weddings on the brain lately, with my sister about to walk down the isle in a few short weeks.  I love all you single (happily un-wed) readers too!

Comments

[Holly Becker]

Get talented friends and family involved. Don't be a control freak. Have fun!

* Had wedding behind my aunt's giant custom home in Boston overlooking the skyline, she has an English garden so I rented white bamboo chairs, a striped yellow/white tent, and the colors were yellow, melon, and pink.

* Did all the decorating myself.

* Had wedding and reception outdoors in the same location.

* Ordered flowers in bulk from local farm and transformed by bedroom into a 24 hour refrigerator by leaving the room with flowers in water buckets and a/c blasting.

* Worked with a new catering service who was looking to build his portfolio. A well known chef with great references. Saved me thousands!

* Worked with a new bakery eager to take on customers. They made the most delicious cake with fruit stuffed in between the 4 layers, for $100 + delivered 45 minutes away!

* Tightened my list - only 80 of my closet friends and family were invited.

* Did it local so that no one had to go broke to attend my wedding. This was important to me. I wanted to get married down south where I was raised but I knew it would be selfish to expect so many people to spend a lot of money on travel. It was more important to me to consider their needs in this respect. Doing it local saved money for us as well, we worked with the local community and in return they gave us great discounts because of knowing me and my family.

* Maid of Honor's husband is a friend and did all of our photos for free, as did my back up photographer, a professional from Florida.

* Handmade our favors, centerpieces, decorations, and invitations.

* Served only wine, ale, and punch. I think open bars are a bit 90s. :) Think "The Wedding Singer". We purchased gorgeous glass containers with spouts on the bottom and sliced fruit adding it to various juices and sparking water with a touch of 7 Up. So affordable and delish on a summer's day.

* Mother mae all of our floral bouquets, arrangements, etc.

* Designed my wedding gown and hired a seamstress to help me complete it.

* Designed and handmade my headpiece and veil. That was so fun and took me 6 months but it was worth it.

Best wishes all of you lovely brides in the house! DIY as much as you can!

xoHolly

[Laura @ Haberdashery]

Well,

I think it is so important to DIY as much as you can, It adds a more special feelingto the wedding. Knowing that you have created all these beautiful things for your big day.

My advice would be:

Use a much ribbon as possible, if you like it ofcourse. In your colour scheme on tables, backs of chairs and in floral arrangemets etc.

Make all your favours and decorations yourselves.

I would get a nice basic dress and customise it with beautiful glass beads and lace and/or ribbon. Put it on a mannequin and customise away.

When it comes to the cake. I would go for:

Basic 3 Teir white cake, and decorate it with either the same flowers of your bridal flowers. Or:

Have a clear glass stand with lots and lots of beautiful cupcakes.

I think lighting is so important when it comes to the evening. If you have a safe venue I'd visit IKEA and get lots and lots of candles, and tea lights and have them everywhere. Also, when used well, fairy lights can work wonders.

A friend of mine collected branches and leaves and spray painted them in silver and baby pink, and had them to decorate the tables and staircase. It looked beautiul.

Also, if your having an outdoors wedding, nicely chosen fabrics made into Bunting with satin bias binding can work a treat. Especially if it's country chic your going for.

Also, we recently went to a wedding where my partner printed A1 pictures of the bride and groom as children, cute photos, and had them on stands and on the walls in the evening area. You can use them afterwards to decorate your home, or as gifts for the mother-in-law .good luck brides!

[mette]

im getting married in about.. wow only a month! we have had different philosophies in planning and a huge help was our early decision to keep the wedding informal and relaxed -it will be a party more than an event. this means more control over the details and less expectations and traditions to fill. also:

one: never buy something we really can't afford: i don't want to have that worried feeling in my stomach knowing we will be paying the decorations off for ever.

two: use friends and family: a cousin in dubai got us a good deal on the rings (gold being so cheap) - the wedding will be held in my parents garden which also means that the trees will be the decorations - grandma offered to make the cake and so on (incl. that im making the dress my self)

three: when adding something to the party ask "would anybody wonder where the xx is if we don't add it" -that means the guests will not have a thousand things to choose between but no one will know or notice.

i have a really good feeling about the wedding knowing it will be "us" and that i will feel comfortable with all out choices -both style and money wise.

best advice: DIY DIY DIY

[Danielle]

All too often I see hopeful brides jump right into planning without much research of what to expect- this can lead to spending a large bulk of your budget up-front and having to squeeze all those things that become important to you into an unrealistic budget (which causes the ever-expanding budget). My best advice is to get on the web and check out the blogs, sites, and local resources available. Form an opinion of what will ultimately be MOST important to you. Find vendors who share those same views and aesthetics.... and once the most important things are catered to- start seeking creative alternatives for the rest. (Hiring students, local artisans, shopping indie, diy, etc).

Remember that weddings are really just a two-part affair. The ceremony is where you can really focus your attention to tradition, decorum, culture, religion, etc.... but then let it all go out the window for the reception- don't bind yourself to any set ideal of what it HAS to be--- those types of expectations are what fuel the high price tag. Treat it like any other party you might throw for such a large crowd. Sometimes when you take this stance you will find that you are more focused on ensuring that your guests are catered to- your personality will shine- and you'll stay within the designated budget.

[Melissa de la Fuente]

First of all: I adore your picks and ideas...they are spot on, I think, with planning a wedding! Secondly: I wish I could have been at Holly's wedding because it sounds like absolute heaven! Or at least see pics! I too did the bulk flower idea that Holly mentioned and it saved us so much...made our own centerpieces and such. I love your idea of only spending alot on what will stay with you for years to come and have fun with the rest.xoMelissa

[sarah]

~we went with a local bed & breakfast/day spa that was less than one year old. they were looking to host weddings and the view was amazing.~hired my hair stylist to drive to us (not only was it cheaper, she pocketed all of the money directly). she also recommended a fantastic freelance makeup artist that drove to us as well.~handmade our save the dates, invitations, centerpieces, programs...~bought dresses (at the beginning of my credit card cylce) from jcrew, nordstrom and bluefly. had a little fashion show to try them all on and kept a nicole miller dress for $350.~went with a local taylor and spent $30 on alterations.~bridesmaids bought dresses from ann taylor for about $100.~thought of how we could use things after the wedding (paper lanterns and votive candles for parties, river rocks used in centerpieces will go in our garden, hydrangea bushes are in my parents' garden, trays and baskets are in our home...)~either hire a videographer or have someone videotape the ceremony. you won't regret it.~hired a friend who is an amazing photographer.~splurge on food and upgraded open bar (i like my martinis).

[Jo]

Wow, Holly - you did a great job on your wedding! I'm getting married in October and have done a few things to cut costs as well:

- cut invite list to 100 & expecting 80 (This really is the single best way to save money - not only are you saving on the meal, but also the guest gift and any per guest decorations like chair cover and sashes. Plus, as a bit of an older bride, I want to create an intimate environment with only my closest friends/family.)- we aren't having a cake or even a plated dessert. Instead we've asked family members to prepare their best desserts and we will create a sweets table. Labeling each dessert with the family member's name will also add to the intimate feel.- instead of hiring a stranger to design our invites, we hired a friend and in exchange have purchased her lodging for the wedding (we've found lodging to be a good trade for discounted services).- after receiving insane quotes for photography, we searched craigslist and actually found an awesome and dependable photographer at a very reasonable price (if you are in Chicago and need a photographer, e-mail me!)- to help minimize the burden places on attendants, we told the groomsmen to wear their own black dress pants and shoes and the ladies to find their own black dress. To create some visual unity, we are asking the men to purchase the same shirt and the women the same shoes. We think it's a better investment to purchase and keep a nice dress shirt than it is to spend $150 on a tuxedo rental.- make your own centerpieces that don't include flowers. There are TONS of options out there like utilizing fruit, herbs, plants, etc.- when purchasing things, think ahead of the ability to resell. I'm pretty excited about the centerpieces I'm making and think they can be used again by a future bride.- instead of hiring a DJ, we are creating ITunes play-lists. A friend will make all announcements and check in on the play-list when needed.

The thing I'm stuck on is gratitude gifts. Since so many people are doing so much to help us minimize costs, we really do feel the need to give nice & thoughtful gifts. But, this can definitely add up. Especially when thinking of gifts for the Mothers. Any thoughts?

[Kate F]

Like Holly, I worked with someone who was trying to build a portfolio--in my case, my florist. I was willing to be flexible in terms of what flowers he used, and in terms of the style (within reason) and in return I basically got the flowers at cost and they were AMAZING. I bought the flowers for the church at Costco.

We did have an open bar during the cocktail hour, but not for dinner, which saved a bundle.

A friend designed out wedding invitations as a gift, and then we got them printed at a print shop my mom works with often. I bought envelopes, etc. from PaperSource. My dad wrote out the addresses on the envelopes, and my mom wrote out the seating cards.

I bought my dress at a thrift shop! There is a store in NYC called The Bridal Garden, where women donate designer dresses and they are sold to benefit a children's charity. I got a $5500 Peter Langner dress for $800. I borrowed a veil from a friend and got awesome gold slingbacks at the Cole Haan outlet.

I think the biggest way to save money (and personalize the whole thing!) is to do legwork yourself. I spent a lot of time and energy shopping around for the best prices on candles, votive holders (just go with Ikea. It's cheapest in the end), candy for the candy bar goody bags, etc., but I saved a lot of money doing it all myself and avoiding any "wedding" resources.

Finally, I highly recommend the Kvetch boards at www.indiebride.com. The other women getting married around New York at the same time as me were a huge help--we all traded tips and resources, saving research time and getting great referrals! In fact, the friend who loaned me the veil was one of the girls from the boards, who got married a couple months before me.

[Alison]

ahhh! I LOVE the pink!!! what a beautiful assortment of photos. great job, as always.xo alison

[cassandra]

i'm in love with that bouquet... and i loved your little PS note! as a gal not even close to getting married, i still love the inspiration, so keep it coming! :)

[Two Wishes]

Great post -- I *totally* agree on your decision of when to save and when to splurge. And that Forever21 bridesmaid dress would be brilliant!

I sourced a lot of items from eBay, including a $225 dress, $30 veil, and $30 shoes. We used mostly silk flowers, which meant we could use normally-pricey flowers (orchids, peonies) and put them together ahead of time without having to pay a florist. And we big saved by holding the reception at a restaurant, which meant no additional "site fee." Splurge was rings (same theory, we'll have them forever) and photography (totally worth it, she made our super-budget wedding look like a magazine spread!).

[ericka]

All I can think about is how I wish I had that cupcake sitting up there in the right hand corner...LOL,no, but this is such a pretty post! I love wedding inspirations, it is always filled with so much love, style, charm, beauty, and romance!

[Bonnie A]

I'm not getting married until next May but we really want to DIY a lot of it because we're both creative types and want it to really reflect our personalities. I think a lot of people get hung up on the word "wedding" when they're doing their searches for things they need for the festivities. If you just think of it as a beautiful and fun celebration you can really expand your options and also not not go into a huge debt. When we can't figure out how to make something ourselves, we're going use vintage items and take advantage of the beautiful things we have in our everyday world, like using old mason jars with ribbon with wild flowers. I know we're going to have way too much fun planning it all (probably some stress to) but we won't be pulling our hair out trying to figure out how to pay for it all.

[Kathy]

I had a metal seal stamp made for our embossing our envelopes with our "wedding crest" we designed ourselves, instead of having the envelopes engraved.

Printed the guests names on the envelopes instead of hiring a calligrapher.

The rest was sort of splurge. :-)

[Peonies and Polaroids]

Great post, I love the pink and I'm in love with that dress!

We're getting married in August and it's definitely a small budget wedding. We splurged on the venue, dress and photographer. Although the dress was a gift from my Grandmother so I don't think that counts!

We have been DIYing almost everything else. The Boy's family are taking care of the food, I designed and made all of the stationary and decorations, all of which are things we will use again after the wedding - enamel jugs mostly. We're doing lots of recycling - flowers and candles in jam jars and confetti from the local rose garden! And flowers from a wholesaler which we'll arrange ourselves. And lots and lots of ebay!

[Rebekah at Elizabeth Anne Desi]

Definitely don't go into debt! You'll be miserable after the party is over and you have all the bills. What better to go into that day knowing everything is paid for (or will be by the end of the night)?! I wore my mother's gown, DIY just about everything but the food. It wasn't extravagant, but it was "us."

[kiwi]

One of my biggest money savers was to have my bridesmaids carry candles instead of flowers. They each carried a large burgundy rose-shaped candle in a brandy snifter.