A Lesson in Trusting Yourself
Trust Your Instincts by Ashley G.
Hello lovelies! Something really scary happened to me yesterday and I just wanted take a quick moment to share my experience with you in the hopes that it just might make a difference in one of your lives or in the life of someone you care about.
Here's what happened: Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my office working at the computer when I saw a red car pull up to the curb down the street a bit. Nothing should have been odd about that, but I instantly had a really strong feeling of dread come over me. I then watched as a middle-aged man who I'd never seen before exited the car and walked towards my house and up to my front door. Then came a knock. I grabbed my phone sensing that something was not right, and went to the door. A very clear voice in my head said, "Do NOT open the door!" so I didn't. My heart was racing and I called out loudly, asking who was there. No answer. About 15 seconds of silence passed and I called out even louder, "Who's there?!!" Again, complete silence. I stood quietly feeling the weight of his presence on the other side of the door for another 30 seconds and then there came another knock. I yelled out, "Who is there?!!!" And was met with more silence. I can't even begin to describe the horrifying feeling of having an unidentified man standing on just the other side of a 2" thick door, having no idea what his intentions were or if he was armed. I tried to peek out the side window through the curtains but he was pressed so closely to my door that I couldn't see him. Moments later I watched as he turned away, walked back to his car, and drove off.
I reported the incident to the police, and through conversations with my friends on Twitter (I love you guys) discovered that this exact scenario has happened to several of you guys! So terrifying! So I wanted to share my story with you all today, because if you ever find yourself in a situation like I did today, or like many of my twitter friends have...then please, please, please trust your intincts. I think so often we women (and guys too I'm sure) don't want to be seen as mean or rude, so we do things like open doors to strangers, and probably put ourselves in situations that could be unsafe. I'm here to tell you that it's okay to be "mean" in situations like this...because doing so just might be the very thing that keeps you safe!
Thanks so much for reading all the way through. Please feel free to share this story with the people you love. Be safe everyone! xox Ez
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| by Ez Friday, July 30, 2010 
Reader Comments (48)
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing, it's a really important message for women to remember! I had a similar experience working the closing shift at a coffee shop... a guy came in and was really insistent about asking me for matches or a light and something didn't seem right about the situation at all. He proved me right by asking if i was in the store alone. I gave him a hearty GTFO and am glad I did to this day!
Another story about trusting your gut, even in the face of authority-- my mom had car troubles and pulled over to the side of the freeway. She called my father on her cell and was waiting for him to come help her when a man in an unmarked car pulled in behind her. She said she might have believed he was a policeman because he was a very good driver, but he walked up to the car in plainclothes and said "I'm a police officer, get in the car and i'll take you to wherever you need to go, I'll take you home." she said no, she would wait for her husband. he repeated, a little more aggravated this time "just get in the car. come on. I'll give you a ride." She again said no and rolled up her window and he pulled away.
The moral of that one to me is that even if he were a cop, that is highly inappropriate behavior. and even if someone is wearing a badge, that doesn't mean his intentions are pure! Better that those kinds of interactions take place in PUBLIC. If a cop pulls you over at night, stick your hand out the window to let them know you see them and then get somewhere brightly lit with people around if you can!
Someone did this while I was in the shower. They were checking to see if anyone was home, and obviously since I was in the shower I didn't go to the door. (I wouldn't have answered it anyway, because I don't do that when I'm alone.) A few minutes later someone kicked in the back door because no one had come to the door but despite fact that there were two cars at the house. I peeked my head out the bathroom door, they saw me and luckily quickly ran back out.
That is TERRIFYING! I am so sorry that happened. And I agree, we need to be careful.
Oh my...things like this give me the creeps. I'm so happy you followed your instincts. And you're totally right about sometimes being afraid of seeming rude. But it's stories like this that remind us it's better to be safe than be concerned about whether a complete stranger thinks we're being "rude." Thanks so much for sharing!
XO Piper
OMG - same thing with me - I never open the door for anyone. I've had some dude sit outside my house in a little red car. I never ask who it is because if I don't know ya, I won't show ya! I'm very cautious about people at my door and on my property that I do not know.
So glad to hear that you're ok Ez and thanks for sharing your experience. It's amazing how strong and SPOT ON our instincts can be. That's something we all need to remind ourselves of and trust in.
goodness! i got home late last night and when i checked my twitter i saw your tweets and i was going to send you love, alas i was dead on my feet and i couldn't even form a complete and coherent thought. :( but i am so glad that you are all right and i am relieved that you listened to that little voice that so many of us ignore. you tweeted that the police never even showed up, right? if so that is appalling, we need faith that if something goes wrong in our lives and we need help we can call the police and they will aid us. i hope all is ((now)) well with you. you are such a enchanting and lovely person, i hate to think what would have happened had you not notice the creepy car drive up or seen him walk to your house- had you thought it was the postman or a friend stopping by for a visit. hope you have a beautiful weekend ((stay safe!)) and t.g.i.f. !! :)
megan,
xoxoxxo
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. ~Author Unknown
Oh my! I'm glad you're okay!!
So happy you´re ok. Also glad you shared your experience. Good and healthy to get it out of your system. And a very important matter to talk about, to feel safe and follow your instinct. That we NEED to follow our instinct.
Warm regards. Nina
totally scary. glad you were on your toes. i never answer the door when i'm alone.
glad you're okay! happy weekend!
I am glad you're safe! And I definitely second the trust your instincts bit. If something feels wrong and shady, take precautions, be careful - even if the instinct is wrong, well, so what. I'd rather hurt someone's feelings that end up dead or hurt...
There's a good book about this very thing, titled The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. IMHO, required reading for all women!
That is totally terrifying I am glad nothing came of his visit and that you trusted yourself!! So glad you are alright.
oh my goodness, that is terrifying. i can tell you that having been a social worker (investigating child abuse) for a few years really taught me a lot learning how to trust my own instincts. i'm so glad you reported this to the police and the fact that the creepster didn't park in front of your house is a huge sign that something was wrong.
Had my daughter and emergency backup daughter read The Gift of Fear.
Interesting factoid - it was the reading choice of a group of friends who all work
in the same industry - education - we all work with kids who are too dangerous
to be in the regular classroom.
oh my god!!!! that's such a horrible feeling! whenever i'm home alone and the doorbell rings, my heart jumps and i get nervous because hardly anyone EVER comes to house without us knowing beforehand. i remember once this past year that someone knocked and i didn't answer and so they left. then the car drove by again and stopped right in front of our house. it turned out it was someone my mom knew and had expected to come by, but i didn't know!
but i agree with you, it's better safe than sorry. if you end up meeting the person later you can always explain that you didn't feel safe answering the door at that time. i'm sure EVERYONE can understand that.
and gosh, you have no idea how glad i am that the little voice inside your head spoke so loudly! you're very lucky :)
I just got the chills. That's terrifying, and I hate that we have to worry about those things. I don't even know you and am so grateful that you DIDN'T open that door- GO YOU!
My heart just dropped when I read this! I am so glad you are okay! Shivers down my spine. I make it a rule to only open the door for marked vehicles (ie UPS or FedEx) or people that I am expecting. I could honestly care less if the person on the other side thinks I am rude. I don't ask who it is because I don't want them to know its a girl (stupid, I know) in the house. I just figure if it was important, like the water or phone guy a) I'd recognize them and their car and b) they'd call.
I opened the door once, instinctively thinking it was my neighbor who had just left, and got a sinking sick feeling wash over me when it was the schwann man. I was lucky, and will never do that again.
What a horrible thing and for shame on the police! They should have been right over, heaven forbid this guys does it to another home. Especially since you said there was a break in a block away this week!!!
I would definately do a formal complaint.
Anyway glad you are ok!
xo
Thank you for sharing this with us, Ez! Now I'm thinking that I'd open if I wouldn't listen to instincts, so thank God we have them! Stay safe! xo
HOLY. CRAP. That's terrifying! It sounds like something out of one of those eerie scary movies. I'm so glad you are ok and trusted your instincts! It's strange that he didn't respond when you asked who was there, like you are going to answer the door knowing he is a complete stranger. How very terrifying.
I'm going to read that book that a few fellow readers suggested, The Gift of Fear!
Ahh that's scary! I'm glad you're okay though! So scary.
so sorry you had this experience, Ez :(
I had a somewhat similar experience when I was living with my parents many years ago -- but the stranger just stayed in his car in our driveway for about 10-15 minutes before leaving. I was super creeped out, so I can't even imagine how much worse it would be to have someone right at the door.
I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing, incident-free weekend :)
xo
wow, I'm so glad you are safe and trusted your instincts! thanks for sharing.
O that sounds terrible! I'm glad you trusted your instincts and are ok. I'm not sure if I would have resisted the urge to open the door.
But when you know you know!
gosh, thanks a bunch! so very kind of you to remind us to be safe! and glad you trusted your instincts!