A Lesson in Trusting Yourself
Trust Your Instincts by Ashley G.
Hello lovelies! Something really scary happened to me yesterday and I just wanted take a quick moment to share my experience with you in the hopes that it just might make a difference in one of your lives or in the life of someone you care about.
Here's what happened: Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my office working at the computer when I saw a red car pull up to the curb down the street a bit. Nothing should have been odd about that, but I instantly had a really strong feeling of dread come over me. I then watched as a middle-aged man who I'd never seen before exited the car and walked towards my house and up to my front door. Then came a knock. I grabbed my phone sensing that something was not right, and went to the door. A very clear voice in my head said, "Do NOT open the door!" so I didn't. My heart was racing and I called out loudly, asking who was there. No answer. About 15 seconds of silence passed and I called out even louder, "Who's there?!!" Again, complete silence. I stood quietly feeling the weight of his presence on the other side of the door for another 30 seconds and then there came another knock. I yelled out, "Who is there?!!!" And was met with more silence. I can't even begin to describe the horrifying feeling of having an unidentified man standing on just the other side of a 2" thick door, having no idea what his intentions were or if he was armed. I tried to peek out the side window through the curtains but he was pressed so closely to my door that I couldn't see him. Moments later I watched as he turned away, walked back to his car, and drove off.
I reported the incident to the police, and through conversations with my friends on Twitter (I love you guys) discovered that this exact scenario has happened to several of you guys! So terrifying! So I wanted to share my story with you all today, because if you ever find yourself in a situation like I did today, or like many of my twitter friends have...then please, please, please trust your intincts. I think so often we women (and guys too I'm sure) don't want to be seen as mean or rude, so we do things like open doors to strangers, and probably put ourselves in situations that could be unsafe. I'm here to tell you that it's okay to be "mean" in situations like this...because doing so just might be the very thing that keeps you safe!
Thanks so much for reading all the way through. Please feel free to share this story with the people you love. Be safe everyone! xox Ez
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| by Ez Friday, July 30, 2010 
Reader Comments (48)
Thank you so much everyone for sharing your stories and kind comments. I am so grateful to have this wonderful community to share with and feel supported by!
@ Elle - Thanks a million for your book recommendation: The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I am most definitely going to pick up a copy of that asap.
Thanks again everyone! xo Ez
YES - this is such a good message & reminder, Ez, thank you for deciding to share it with us. I used to always open the door - I think it's very common for us women to want to be "nice"
...but now that I have my newborn baby in the house I have no qualms NOT answering the door or even just literally shouting "I'm not interested!" through the closed door to the solicitor/weird stranger on the other side.
So glad you are safe! xoxo Laura
So glad you're safe. I can't even imagine the panic you felt.
I have to admit that someone somehow attacking me is one of my biggest fears. I am in a wheelchair and couldn't defend myself half of what an able-bodied woman could, so it's kind of always in the back of my head when I see someone suspicious. It's a unnerving feeling, for sure.
I am glad you did not open that door!
omgosh!! that's really scary! glad that u're okay:) i must admit that i need to be more conscientious about these things. thank u for the reminder:)
TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing---this was very creepy. Yes, we are sometimes nice to a fault as women. Sounds like you handled it very well!
This is a horror story! Luckily, with a happy ending. And luckily, you are sharing it here with us, and reminding us of always hearing our little voice inside - in this case, and others.
I love my little voice, I hope I'm always able to follow it!
wow! so glad you trusted your instinct! thanks for sharing. i will definitely pass it on.
I literally just got up in the middle of reading this to lock my back door. This has happened to me several times and I always feel so silly for freaking out, but man I hate that feeling of a stranger at the door when I'm home alone. I usually grab my phone, hide in the bathroom, and text my boyfriend to come save me. I've been playing outside while babysitting in a nice neighborhood known for frequent break-ins when a guy walked by and asked if I was "the queen of this castle"? I told him I wasn't and luckily he kept walking, but I later found out the police were looking for a man of his description, wandering the neighborhood to see who wasn't home in the afternoons. Usually I wouldn't go to the door at all, so it may have been a blessing we were actually outside and very obviously home.
I do have a really embarrassing story related to this. I was home alone at my grandparents' house and just got out of the shower when someone I didn't know knocked on the door. I didn't answer and figured they'd leave. I was getting dressed in a bedroom and heard someone come in through their back door (which is sometimes left unlocked). I have never felt so scared or helpless. I texted my dad, who was an hour away visiting his friend and has absolutely no clue how to text. I didn't want to talk on the phone b/c I didn't want this person to hear me, but I could hear them shuffling around the rest of the house. I was hiding under the covers about to cry, my dad was calling my mom and having her text me! Such a mess. My dad called the police and my aunt to come check out the house. My grandparents finally came home from the grocery store and I find out it was just their housekeeper...I didn't even know they had a housekeeper, much less one who would be showing up when I was the only one at the house! My grandparents were really confused about the cop in their driveway and my aunt and cousin showed up about then to "rescue" me. Everyone had a good laugh and I felt really dumb, but it's pretty funny to think about now. Better safe than sorry, right?
always trust that voice.
something very similar happened to me, and then i later learned that 2 women were attacked by the guy just one street away.
That is so scary! Did the police say that they've had more complaints and they're on it?
Something like that happened to me, it was early afternoon and someone knocked on our door, I went to look through the peeping hole and it was a young man I didn't recognize, he knocked again and I didn't even move, all of a sudden he grabbed the door handle and tried to open the door!
Our door is always double locked and neither of us open the door if it's not some one we know.
It is very scary being on the inside!
I had something similar happen to me about a month ago so I completely understand the feeling of fear and fight inside. Thanks for the reminder... and nice job! :)
Thank you for sharing this with us. As soon as I read this I checked the lock on the front door. I need to stop opening the door when I don't recognize the person on the other side. Because you shared this, I don't have to learn the hard way.
I was nervous just reading this...I'm so glad to hear you listened to your instincts!! That's so important to do because it's so much better to err on the side of caution. I hate feeling that way, but if I'm alone at home and some stranger is at the door I find it best not to answer unless I know what it's about. So glad you listened to that instinct that was screaming at you!
OMG - you *so* did the right thing. I'm based in the UK and I never, never open the door if I don't know who it is - neither does my husband or kids. It's not worth the risk and I'd rather be rude and safe. May I say, while commenting, how much I love your blog and the inspiration it provides - keep up the good work!
Definitely something worth posting about, Ez. I make it my policy to never answer the door when I'm home alone or home with just my children. If being safe means coming across as rude, then so be it. Nothing means more to me than the safety of my family.
I hope that people reading this post heed your advice about trusting their instincts. And if you're worried you're not answering the door for a friend, just keep in mind that they can give you a ring on the phone to let you know it's them knocking at the door.
Make it a habit!
Yikes! How scary! I'm always nervous when I hear a knock at the door, but in my fear of "not being polite" I always open it! And then I stand there freaked out until they finally go away! Since the top half of the door is glass, it would be perfectly acceptable for me to just talk to them through the glass, but I never do. Well, I think I will from now on. Glad you're okay!!
My lord. That's petrifying! You did the right thing!
wow, thank goodness for that clear voice you heard! I'm convinced it was God (that could come off as sarcastic in this day and age, but I'm being serious. God was watching over you)
Thanks GOD you are alright.
My friend always tell me " woman's instinct is always right, you have to believe it, you have to believe in yourself instinct!" It's some kinda true :)
Thanks for posing this.
Wow, that is super creepy. I'm SO glad you are safe and listened to your instincts.
Ez, when I read, "A very clear voice in my head said, "Do NOT open the door!"", two things immediately popped into my mind. One, you are incredibly blessed to have this happen to you. Two, I agree with Hailey--"wow, thank goodness for that clear voice you heard! I'm convinced it was God (that could come off as sarcastic in this day and age, but I'm being serious. God was watching over you)". I believe the voice you heard was not just 'instinct,' but an indication that God does watch over you and wants to protect you. It's incredibly comforting to know that I don't just have to trust myself in situations like this. I know that the more I listen for that clear voice, the more it will guide me and lead me away from dangerous situations. Glad to know you listened!
When I was much younger, I think I was about 10 or 11, I was babysitting my baby sister, as I did pretty much every weekday in the summer. One afternoon a man I had never seen before parked in our driveway and knocked on the door. I ran upstairs and looked out my bedroom window which looked over the driveway and saw that I did not recognize the car. I remember feeling really scared and confused as to what was going on because it was very odd for someone to be parked in the driveway. I ran outside and grabbed my little sister (who was playing with barbies or something I'm sure in the backyard) and told her to stay in my room. I went downstairs and stood in the living room listening for him to leave.... but he kept knocking and ringing the doorbell. I went upstairs to join my sister and spy out the window and watched him walk to his car, take out a sandwich, and literally lean up against his car and eat it. I swear he was there for a good half hour at least, but it felt like forever. Finally, he finished his sandwich, knocked on the door a few more times, and then just got in his car and left. It was one of the scariest experiences I have had to date. I felt so helpless and confused. I was so young that I didn't think to call the police or my dad at work or anything until after because I didn't want the man to hear anyone talking. I never figured out anything else about the situation, but I am sure to this day that his intentions were not pure. No one lingers for that long with out an intention........
Needless to say, I think it is important to educate your children, especially those who have to be left alone, about the dangers of strangers. It sounds silly, but truly, unless a family member or trusted neighbor is expected to come over, doors should always remain locked and closed.
I'm glad you listened to your gut. Boy, I feel so glad that I live in a country where I sometimes don't lock the door and the police isn't even armed. And in the Faroe Islands where I lived last year, people don't even knock before entering the house and no-one has a door bell. Stay safe. And thank you for your lovely blog, btw, it is one of my favorite.