Correction and an Apology

Hello lovelies.
I want to quickly address something that reader Leslie, brought to my attention earlier today.  On this week's Chic for Cheap post I worded a sentence in a way that I'm afraid may have hurt or offended some of you.  I am deeply saddened to think that this may be the case and I apologize for not paying closer attention to my words.

The sentence in question read: "You should not look like the caterers or like a guest but like the professional that you are."  By this I did not intent to imply that caterers or other service workers are in any way unprofessional or lower ranking than photographers.  I have a true affinity and respect for people in every profession and regret that I did not see how my words could be read as implying something else.  Perhaps what I should have said is, "You should take care to dress in a way that reflects your profession (i.e. not as a wedding guest)."

I will be editing the original post and apologize again to any of you who may have been hurt by my wording.  I love and respect each one of you and would never want you to feel any differently. xox Ez

Comments

[Nina S.]

Ez - many (possibly even all) of us think very highly of you even for the unfortunate wording. I'm a wedding musician and did read that post, but sincerely think your have a lovely heart and would never suggest I'm merely 'not' a professional. :) Thanks for all of your posts!

[Gina]

Wow, I didn't read it that way at all. It didn't seem like you were putting anyone down- you were just saying that you need to present yourself differently than a guest or the other staff working on the wedding. That makes sense. You want to look different as part of a different profession- you are not the caterer, you are not the guest, and you want people to know that.

[Marichelle]

Hi Ez, for what it's worth... just wanted to let you know that I read that post and didn't even think twice about it - maybe it's because I know you?? and know for a fact that you would never classify people that way.

[when skies are grey]

I should say first that I always enjoy your outfit by occasion spreads, they are always so cute and fun. Your sentence was completely fine, it was only specifying not to dress like a caterer simply so a wedding guest won't be asking you for napkins. It makes sense not to dress like another professional when weddings can get so crazy--it makes it easier to distinguish. That's how your sentence read, it never implied in the slightest that the caterers were any less, no need for apologies :)

[chelsea a]

People will choose to get their feathers ruffled if they want to. It's overtly obvious it wasn't your intent to offend, and the way you worded the phrase is fine.

[Melissa de la Fuente]

Oh, hun....I didn't read it or take it that way! You have such a lovely heart, I know you could never imply that anyone lesser than. I knew exactly what you meant! :) Thank you for ALL the amazing work you do for us and how much joy you bring us each day!xoMelis

[Lela]

I agree with the other posters. I just thought a photographer wouldn't be in a position to answer questions about what was in the mini-quiches.

[P.]

Tough crowd! Blogging is such a mind field. You have a great spirit, Ez!

[Kate]

Your a doll Ez. The whole world knows your a sweetheart & we know you would never ever doing anything to offend anyone on purpose. We also know you are very respectful of everyone and their profession. As a person who use to work in the service industry, I was not offended AT ALL. Thats the tough thing about blogging, texting, writing...sometimes people look into things too much and put meaning behind something thats just not there. It does speak volumes for you to publicly change your words and say sorry though--but of course I'm not surprised! Your too sweet!

[cdelphine]

Aw, Ez, we know you. We know that you would never mean it that way. It's very sweet of you to take the time to write an apology/correction.

[robyn]

People are just overly sensitive, I guess... I didn't read it that way at all! Your intentions were great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)

[bonnie tsang]

I agree with all of above, I didn't read it that way at all. Stay positive, Ez! We love you!

[kat]

ah Ez we know you meant well in what you originally wrote,there's not a judgemental bone in your body as the saying goes, and i hadnt read it like that at all, but thanks for the apology anyway its very sweet, just as you are, katx

[L.S.]

It is pretty clear that you meant no snobbery! I love your blog and you are so gracious.

[steven]

wowzer, you shouldnt have had to re word your original post, with everything that is going on in the world right now its amazing that people take such offense to such in-offensive words, and find the energy to make their point known... if only people used that energy to make some changes in bigger more important ways then the world would be a better place, thankfully we have people like you to make it all the more cheerfull.

[Mari]

Random reader coming out of the woodworks to show some support: I think that by putting "caterer" very clearly in the same category as "guest" there is absolutely no implication that caterers are unprofessional. I would think one would have to very sensitive to give that sentence a second thought.

[Catherine L.]

Another daily lurker who wants to say that your lovely heart shines through so clearly ... anyone who is a regular reader would assume you meant the best. I love welcoming you into my home every day. Thank you for you.

[Pixie]

I so didn't read it that way and it's probably the way I would have worded it also.

Seriously! Every wedding I've been to, people are dressed according to a standard, and yes, the caterers are indeed dressed differently. NOT because they are lower but because they are usually in some type of UNIFORM.

I do wish sometimes that we wouldn't have to be so careful about how we word stuff on the slight chance that we offend people.

[Shanon]

Ez, I respect that you told us this. It's hard to always choose our words perfectly. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I didn't think much of it because I thought you were trying to say that as a photographer you wouldn't want to be confused for anyone else but the photographer. Just as anyone else there wouldn't want to be confused for anyone else other than what their particular job at the wedding is. But I can sort of see how someone might be hurt, and it's very kind of you to clarify your statement so as to amend any confusion. Clarity is never a bad thing.

[Naomi Friedman]

Ez, you are one of the kindest, sweetest and most wonderful people around.It is so rare to find someone who'd share their talent, creativity and kindness unconditionally with the rest of the world and ask for nothing in return.

I'm sure it took a lot of digging for anyone to find your words offensive. It is obvious that none of the other readers even recognized the 'problem' in the wording.

Keep up your good work. We all love and enjoy what you do! xxxN

[karen m.]

Ez, you are always gracious, respectful, and kind. Your sentence clearly says that both caterers and photographers are professionals, but their dress codes may be different. If you were a student in my college English course, I would not have suggested a revision. As always, thank you for sharing so much beauty and joy! A+

[Leslie]

Woah, I'm the Leslie that pointed it out. I just wanted to say sorry I stirred up some web controversy. My feathers weren't ruffled at all. Clearly I was UNprofessional and should have just not said anything. I just read the sentence and my brain interpreted it as mildly offensive but obviously not deliberate. It made me giggle. This blog is so sugar-coated sunny the juxtaposition of a possibly snarky comment just struck me as a little funny.

So no, I'm not Anal Annie digging around for things to get mad about, not on this site at least. Maybe its all this time in San Francisco has me set on hyper-sensitive? Sigh...hippies...

Hopefully we can all get through this and focus on pretty shiny gorgeous things. That's why I read this blog daily anyways. Sorry again for suggesting Ez's isn't anything other than pure sunshine with rainbow sprinkles wrapped inside a warm hug resting in a basket of kittens. I'm sure that she is.

Cheers!

[aya]

I worked in catering with 2 different companies while I was in university. First of all, nobody on my team (aside of the companies managers) were professional, we were all students trying to pay tuition...

AND - in both companies though there were no uniform there was a dress code (black slacks and white blouse\shirt in one and black long skirt for girls \ black pants for guys and a black long sleeve blouse\shirt in the other).

I think your advice was very sound and that it is important to figure out what the caterers will be wearing and try to avoid that combo or you'll get asked for drinks and food all the time.

The manager in one of the company was a woman and she would dress pretty much like your tips for photographer goes - like a pretty conservative wedding guest who's trying to stay in the background.

[sherry]

I think it was lovely of you to post your feelings and how you meant what you said. To be honest, I read it the way you had intended...but it shows so well how what we read can be interpreted in different ways; or how what we say can be interpreted, even when we think we've been clear. Good communication is all about being clear or explaining when others don't understand.

Hard to imagine that you meant any offense at all but you are kind hearted to offer the clarification!

[michaela]

i can totally understand if you feel badly taht you may have been misunderstood. i did not read it as derogatory towards those other professionals.